Ieri a fost o zi plina de revelatie pentru identitatea mea de scriitor, pentru ca a fost ziua in care am scris pentru prima data altceva in afara de proza. Am scris primul meu cantec (ori poezie), in timpul unui proiect european gazduit in sudul Spaniei, in colaborare cu Claudia, Sorina si Irene. E un cantec despre o agresiune, dar un cantec scris nu din perspectiva victimei, ci din cea a agresorului. Care, in fapt, este victima cea dintai.
Precum se spune despre actul de a scrie, mi-am deschis venele si am sangerat pe foaie. Am sangerat mult. Si au iesit versurile de mai jos:
I hit, you cry, we die
I hit, you cry, we die
There’s mud, there’s blood,
I’m stuck in the crud,
There’s me piercing your body,
There’s you piercing my soul,
I hit, you cry, we die
Chorus:
I’m raping you now
Because you don’t stop raping me
I’m raping you now
PLEASE stop raping me
My anger hurts so much
It’s eating me inside
It bites my flesh, devours my soul,
I don’t know where to hide
You scream on the outside
And your voice is stabbing my heart
But you have no idea
Of the scream inside my own heart
I’m raping you now
Because you don’t stop raping me
I’m raping you now
PLEASE stop raping me
I’m disgusted with myself
I am an animal
Do you see what you’ve created?
Can’t you see what we’ve become?
The jail is my life now
Or what remains of it
I never through I could do this
Will you forgive me for it?
I’m raping you now
Because you don’t stop raping me
I’m raping you now
PLEASE stop raping me
I ask forgiveness to God
But can I forgive myself?
I ask forgiveness to you
But will you acknowledge my Self?
Look inside of you
And see me there
Lonely, despaired,
Longing for you to care
I’m raping you now
Because you don’t stop raping me
I’m raping you now
PLEASE stop raping me
I’m begging for you to forgive me
So that I can forgive my own self
Please, can we please close our eyes
And pretend we’re already dead?
I’m raping you now
And I’ll keep raping you
Until you stop, you see, you notice me.
You’re raping me now
And when you do
You hit, I cry, we die.